Is it wrong for me to not trust one of my husband females friends?
I'm very confused. Why are you asking about mistrusting her when he's the one who said he wants to fuck her? Your husband told you he wants to cheat on you. He's the one you should have trouble trusting. Her intentions are irrelevant if he's committed to monogamy and it kinda sounds like he's not. That, or he likes hurting you when he's angry, which is perhaps an even bigger problem.