Whats the best advice you can give to someone who thinks that his?
Thank you so much for requesting my answer to your question, Sophia. Although I myself am not in my 40s or 50s as far as how old I am in life, I am about to be 35 years old, so I feel like I am definitely mature enough to shoot from the hip as a peer. Ive always respected my elders, and Ive always been hesitant, shit, downright dismissive of advice from individuals younger than I, so I just wanted to share this little bit of background information before I begin. The best advice that I can give to someone who thinks that his life is not where it was supposed to be at their 40s or 50s is to sit down and lets have a convo. and keep it 100 with each other and lets clarify some things. #1, at this point in our lifes, hopefully we are not experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis because we are comparing ourselves to others. You should put an immediate stop to this. You should not compare how successful you are in life based on material things and you should not feel any less complete or whole if you are still single, or your current family situation isnt being cast to star in a reality show for the Hallmark Channel or the Lifetime Network. If we are not happy with how our life is at this moment, and then lets ask ourselves what is it that we are unhappy about? Mind you, if we are unhappy due to things we cannot control, you either get over it or accept that theres nothing you can do about whatever youd like to change, or you continue wallowing into your own despair that you are choosing to remain in! From this day forward, we must learn to accept our reality, for that day in time. No matter your age, I believe we can all still dream. However, now that we are of a certain age, we can actually develop some semblance of turning those dreams into reality by setting daily goals that help us get one step closer to our ideal reality, day-in and day-out. Once we learn to accept our reality, we can then be realistic with ourselves. I believe that the worst thing a person can do in life is bullshit with themselves. Lets say you are upset that you do not own your dream house. Okay, you are 40, 50 years old: How is your income? How is your credit? Will you be owning this house yourself or will it be purchased as part of a partnership via marriage? What is stopping you from just walking into a bank and telling them I want to buy a house right now? Even if they you, Yeah right, at least ask why they wont allow you to finance the house of your dreams. That way, you have definitive actions you need to take if you really want to make this dream house yours. I could go on and on, but in essence, my advice would be to: Suck it up, buttercup! Stop focusing on whats wrong in your life and start having a greater appreciation for whats right in your life. You have your health and start breaking the chains attached to your old way of thinking. Start by making it a point to do something you like at least once a day. Start making it a point to do something you enjoy once a week. Start making it a point to take a whole day and make it your own personal holiday when from morning until sundown, it will be full of your own personal pleasures like wearing your favorite outfit! Eliminate toxic people from your life and if eliminating them from your life is difficult, then start standing up for yourself and be brave enough to recognize that you are happier without this person in your life, so let it be known that if they would like for you to continue to be in their lifes, you would appreciate it if they made you feel like you could be your authentic self whenever you are around them. If thats too hard for them to reach some sort of compromise with you, they are dangerous to your well-being and seek an escape route ASAP. If you dont like your job, on your day or time off, try to schedule job interviews with places where you feel like you will enjoy working at. If you are single, please know that there is someone for everyone in this world. You have to stop being timid and take ownership of your happiness. Stop being scared of rejection and be more afraid of spending the rest of your life alone because you havent built yourself up to the point that you should expect to get that phone number or social media account, or have your invitation to spend time with you accepted. I can guarantee you that just like you would love to find someone to spend time with, they are probably looking left when you are looking right, and they are looking up while you are looking down. The important thing is if you see someone that catches your eye; make sure you approach that person when you are at your utmost confident. Make it a point to wear some clothes that show-off your individual sense of style and you feel confident in, invest in grooming yourself, and tell yourself over and over and over until you start to believe it, that you are a great catch and expect good things to happen to you if you present your best foot forward. Also, accept that not everyone is going to like you in life, but dont let rejection and defeated be words that define you but rather words that you have overcome. Life is a beautiful thing. I know myself I am nowhere near where I envisioned myself to be at when I was 13 years old. However, once I started accepting the things I cannot change, once I started finding the courage in me to have the balls to try and change the things I can, and gaining wisdom from my trials and errors, life has been more accepting. If I find myself in a scenario where I get bad vibes, I remove myself from the situation altogether because thats the REAL me telling me that I should kick rocks and keep it moving. Ive stopped being so hard on myself for inaction and learned to pat myself on the back more for trying and failing miserably! Theres no reason why we should feel down in the dumps for too long. Tough times dont last, tough people do, and this too shall pass Accept your current reality and focus on what you can do to improve your mood, and more importantly, your mental health. Be your own biggest advocate, be your own biggest fan, and stop being your harshest critic, and cut yourself some slack. After all, you are human, so start enjoying the other 40 to 50 years of your life. Youll thank yourself 40 to 50 years from now. Try to reach back to the depths of your soul and regain some of that innocent, childhood youth, and exuberance for life, regardless of the curveball life has thrown you. You are still alive, so look alive. One day at a time. If you do this, and build positive day after positive day, then you will start to only have good memories to fall back on, which will help you get out of lifes moments of feeling inadequate and bounce back sooner. Give yourself a chance to be happy by thinking positively and believing in the power of attraction. And guess what? Doing so wont cost you a dime, so go all willy-nilly you fine human specimen, you! Lol. Thanks for reading. Mq'W